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Name in Vain
July 2009
It's pretty baby-ish when people fight and resort to name calling.

However, when it comes to cyber fighting, I think I'd rather be called a bitch, a douche-bag or a piece of shit rather than have my real named spelled out.

To have your full name out there on the world wide web, while being accompanied with a threat and/or lies and gossip, truly hits below the belt. No wonder such behavior is called "cyber-bullying." 

But in the grand scheme of things, it's all very small.

One of my favorite sayings is, "Talking trash about someone doesn't make them look bad, it makes YOU look bad."  No matter what rumor is spread about a person, the person who was attacked OWNS the glory! 

Why? Because of the mere fact that he/she evoked some sort of jealousy in the person who started the gossip.

Think about it.

Over 30 years ago, one of the most absurd rumors I heard was that Rod Stewart had to get two gallons of sperm pumped out of his stomach.

Thirty years later, we still hear Rod Stewart on the radio. But do we know anything about the numb nut who started the goofy rumor? No. The person is good as zero, just as all trouble makers are. They all basically have the same traits: low self-esteem, jealousy and attention deprivation.

The only way they can get noticed is by hurting someone who is actually -- NOTICEABLE! 

So when someone recently tried to threaten me by saying she knew "secrets" about me,  I referred to the old Jane's Addiction album title: "Nothing's Shocking."

Unless I molested a child or killed someone's grandmother, you have nothing on me that is worth gossiping about. It's all recycled bullshit. What have I done that hasn't already been done by some rock star? You better make something up, bitch, because in reality I'm pretty damn boring! 

If you want to (again, using a Jane's Addiction reference, I've been listening to them a lot lately), DIG SOMETHING UP -- that judgmental hypocrites can hate me for, true or not -- feel free.

True friends will stand by me anyway, no matter what, while enemies are just looking for an excuse to hate me. They are just waiting for it, like a kid with his nose pressed against the candy store door. So why not give them the excuse they want sooner, rather than later.

The faster I know someone doesn't like me, the easier my life will be because I don't have to second guess or give the benefit of the doubt.

Too bad a certain coward didn't have balls to let me know sooner though. It was just held it all in all these years, waiting for the sacred moment to erupt.

But that's okay, I've never been a fan of the ball-less anyway -- so we are even! 

Mark Twain is quoted as saying, "If everyone likes you, you're doing something wrong." 

Or an even better one -- when Johnny Rotten was asked what he'd do if he suddenly was accepted, he said, "I'd find a way to get banned again." 

Talk is cheap.

People can yak about you all they want but it doesn't take money out of your pocket; it doesn't make you fat; and it certainly doesn't take away loved ones who adore you unconditionally.

It's a win/win situation for me! 


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